Make no mistake, if you are in Portugal you will be told this is some sort of traditional thing, going way back to the very first rums ever made, and being on the menu at every Portuguese bar as well as in every home. But, like fraternity hazings or somber funerals or online “likes,” it is a tradition that should have been aborted before it was ever born.
It is often a pleasure to experience local beverages, and sometimes truly surprising, even confusing. Rarely is it quite this disgusting. This drink is a filthy pirate, and not of the charming, Jack Sparrow variety. More along the lines of an actual, modern day pirate, who attacks people out on their boats, steals everything, murders or kidnaps, smells like diesel and dried piss, sings rape songs off key, and breaks bottles on the street. And it tastes like it too. Imagine, if you will, a blend of your grandfather’s aftershave and “spice” cough syrup (if that was a thing), then add a dash of nail polish remover (say, bubblegum scented) and top it off with the taste equivalent of how your head feels after a night of Jagermeister. If that is your kind of thing, you’ll love BeiRao.
The most surprising thing about this drink is that it sits alongside the wines of Portugal, which are among the most delicious in the world, and cheap as hell here. Somehow people choose this sugar laden assault on the stomach over a glass of local wine. I don’t get it. But, hey, it’s tradition.